I am not going to sit up here and act like I've always been saved. I haven't. I've always believed in God but I haven't always been in relationship with God. Do I think that I wasted a lot of time wandering in the dark? Yes. But would I trade that dark time? Nope. Why? Because it taught me so much.
Indulge me if you will. On the spiritual evolutionary scale, I started out as pond scum. But now according to my own Biblical Darwinism, I think I am a tadpole. I aspire to one day grow out of the swamp. But I've made progress. Serious progress. And I am proud of that progress. Thankful for that progress. Excited about that progress. But just the other day, someone told me that my communication style wasn't were it should be. Do I think this person was being malicious? Nope. But did it hurt my feelings briefly? Yep. It felt as though my tadpole-isms were annoying someone who was already spiritually walking on all four. But if they only knew how badly it hurt and what God took me through to get me to this seemingly rudimentary stage, they would never negate my journey or my methods. The fact that they are spiritually walking on all four is a testament to how good God has been to them, but has nothing to do with my journey. My mouth is my mouth. My words are my words. And here is the one thing that I think that some people forget when they reach a certain spiritual level: While I may get on their nerves with my lack of walking, I am giving hope to those still swimming in the pond.
So forgive me if I am a bit unrefined or rough around the edges even. My methods, word choice, amd terminology will evolve as I evolve. But right now I'm just a tadpole trying to save the folks still in the pond.